Mistakes
by KURAINEKO66
Summary: Each chapter is 300 words. Set in season four. Reid is struggling with his addiction again, and he doesn't know who to turn to this time. Reidcentric! angst. AU kind of.
1. Intro: Prologue

This is my college debut, as I recently graduated high school (thank god). Anyway, these stories will be told in 300 word snippets, resulting in more chapters and quicker updates.

* * *

**Mistakes **

_"I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom." _  
-Edgar Allen Poe

* * *

If there were gods, or perhaps, if there was a god, then this may not have happened. I may not have fallen so far so fast. I don't mean to rule out the possibility of a god as I, myself, have come to believe in some of the basic fundamental properties of religion. I'm not so naïve as to withhold responsibility; I abhor people who cower away from the truth. And so, I have typed in order to legitimize any claims that I was partially to blame.

As much as I am relieved of guilt from you all, my skin is reminded of my shortcomings daily. So please, I beg of you, when you realize the depth of my deception, I ask that you forgive not I, but forgive God for influencing men like Tobias. He is also the reason that I am soon to be staring into the eyes of black balloons-

"Reid?"

Startled, the youngest agent snaps his laptop shut , and looks at his concerned friend. Without thinking, as if he ever does anymore, he grabs his arm to control the multitude of twitches. The older male's gaze travels down, and notices that Reid is obviously trying to control his undisciplined body. "Are you okay man?"

_No. _Is what Reid desperately wants to say; yet the words slip from his tongue, all the way to the floor, and are buried beneath the soles of his shoes.

"Reid. We're all worried about you man", Morgan sat betwixt Reid and the window. Derek Morgan was suspiciously close to Reid's face when he spoke the next few words: "Reid?"

At this Reid located his missing tongue, "Ah, no I'm fine." To Morgan's unbelieving stare, he reassured both the elder male and those eavesdropping on the conversation.

"I'm just tired."


	2. The Descent

A little AU, but I decided to take things my way.

* * *

**Mistakes**

_"It's a good thing most people bleed on the inside or this would be a gory, blood-smeared earth."_

_ -Beatrice Sparks, Go Ask Alice_

* * *

It wasn't his fault that his eyes seemed to touch the bottom of his eyelids more often than he would've liked during the briefing. When he had finally reached his run-down apartment, Reid had gone straight to X, his current drug dealer, instead of his twin sized motel bed. Since his place illuminated shadows that seemed hell-bent on morphing his psyche into a modern Sylvia Plath, Reid had thought it best to spend as much time away from his apartment. Unfortunately, that also meant he neglected basic health, like eating and much needed hours of sleep.

"Reid!" Said boy jumped up out of a sleep he didn't know he was in. Blushing red, Reid grasped his messenger bag tighter, a misplaced sense of paranoia filling his head along with a deep sense of dread. "Unless something is wrong with you, I expect you to be listening."

Reid nodded fervently, understanding Hotch's cold calculating glare as one of worry. "I'm sorry. Sorry, my neighbors have been making such noise that I've gotten no sleep."

His throat hurt from speaking so much, he was usually more withdrawn. Especially since his headaches had progressively gotten worse with no appropriate explanations from his doctor.

Hotch nodded, and let Garcia fill in the rest of the details; children being kidnapped and killed, then thrown carelessly across hiking trails. _What else is new? _

"Yeah," Garcia seemed to be answering a question, "These kids are being abducted, and before anyone knows they're missing, they turn up dead."

"Jesus. Makes you think just how many kids are taken."

"Statistically speaking, Prentiss, there are approximately 100,000 children reported missing in the United States each year."

For a millisecond, Reid felt somewhat normal. But then, he saw his mother hovering over Hotch, and knew he would forevermore taint such normalcy.


	3. Contemplations

Thank you for taking an interest in my story!

Here's chapter 3, which I wrote today, Chapter 4 will be posted tomorrow and so on, so on, until I reach at least 25 chapters (that's the objectory goal)

* * *

**Mistakes**

_I can feel the hurt. There's something good about it. Mostly it makes me stop remembering._

-Albert Borris

* * *

It wasn't like they were completely ignorant as to Reid's sudden change in behavior. In fact, unbeknownst to the shaggy haired boy, they were observing him closely. Every twitch, every misplaced noun, every tongue slip, they cataloged. And then, they tried to locate Gideon. Unfortunately, Garcia couldn't track a man that knew how to stay hidden. Reid was falling apart, and what made it worse was that the whole team was privy to it.

"What do you mean he's _missing?_" Morgan whispered through clenched teeth. To this, JJ averted her gaze in shame. "You were supposed to watch him. What the _hell _were you doing?"

"He's a grown man and he can look after himself." Prentiss argued, defending JJ who seemed to be blaming herself. "And anyway, Hotch said we can go, is he in the wrong for doing just that?"

"You know Reid." Morgan sure hoped that they did, "He would have never…"

Agent Derek Morgan was a great deal of many; a survivor of child molestation, a college athlete brute, and the one he was most proud of, a FBI agent. However, first and foremost, he was Reid's protector.

"We know Derek." Emily touched Morgan's shoulder gently, "But you have to let him come to us."

JJ, for the first time since Morgan had re-entered the building with no whereabouts of Reid, cleared her throat. "He wouldn't just leave while that _monster_ is raping innocent kids. He would be working on the geographical profile."

"Alright." Prentiss conceded, "Then, what the hell is he doing?"

The silence that followed next reminded JJ of the silence consuming the younger agent. "We don't know."

He repeated, "He's falling apart." _And he's dying. _Although left unsaid, each member had heard it being spoken. It reverberated in their minds, echoing around the room.


	4. Contemplations p2

Thank you for the follows and reviews. Here's an update, chapter six is on the way.

* * *

**MISTAKES**

_"I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself." _  
-Charlotte Bronte: Jane Eyre

* * *

"How do we help him?" Prentiss broke the silence, finally asking what the others were thinking, "Does he even want our help?"

"Of course he doesn't Emily." JJ rolled her eyes, "We need to go to Hotch."

Emily snorted, "With what proof? Reid's been acting shaky, yeah, but he's not doing anything illegal. He's probably having nightmares."

"You wanna go off of probably? Reid is…he's…" JJ couldn't finish her sentence; she couldn't admit that _he was deteriorating. _

"I know that. You don't think I do? But we can't go to Hotch just because Reid isn't feeling good."

"That's exactly what we do!" The blonde haired agent could hardly contain the rage stirred within her, "We go to Hotch and tell him. And then we figure it out."

Prentiss, instanced to attack if provoked, felt her temperature spike. "If you want what's best for Reid, I say we wait it out and see if his mood gets better."

"Ugh! I'm getting no where with either of you." She turned her back on both Morgan and Prentiss. "Just…don't pretend you care about him."

Fed up with Jennifer's attitude, Prentiss allowed herself to be unprofessional, "Fuc-"

"Both of you quit it now!" Morgan practically hollered, lifting his phone to his ear, and dialing a very important number, he reprimanded both female agents, "You both need to get it together."

"Telling Hotch something he already knows is unproductive." Agent Jareau smirked in victory. "Garcia?"

Garcia's energetic voice boomed from the cellular device. "No, no leads yet. Hotch called it quits for now. Listen, I need a favor," Morgan laughed at Garcia's frisky reply, "Hey now, can you get me Reid's outgoing and incoming call list…I know, I'm sorry baby. Tomorrow morning? All right. I'm- "

Once he heard dial tone, Morgan instantly regretted calling.

* * *

Please Review guys, it lets me know what I've done wrong or perhaps even right. Thank you!


	5. Their Ray of Sunshine

Two updates in one day? I'm on a roll. Please give me feedback:) Appreciate it. Thanks.

* * *

**MISTAKES**

_It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend._

-William Brake

* * *

She was, for the most part, the ray of sunshine the team clung to after a particularly nightmarish case. Penelope Garcia saw the light in dark, and the human in serial killers. Described by many as a kind soul with an outwardly exuberant fashion sense, Penelope couldn't find anything morally pleasing about the list blinking on her screen. Reid's call list was certainly dull; there was no reason to be spying on the poor man. And yet, she sat before his personal records, biting her lips guiltily.

She called Morgan; not even his quirky (and very sexy) greeting lifted the bricks burrowing into shoulders. Garcia imagined that Reid was somewhere nearby, and that Morgan had needed the information discreetly.

"Speaker?" She spoke monotonously. "Then yes, I've got em. I'm sending them now."

Upon being thanked for being the treacherous she-witch she had been, Garcia interrupted Morgan's apologetic plea. "No. You…everyone deserves privacy Derek. But I'm begging you, don't ever make me use my holy powers for evil."

She hung up without saying goodbye. Although she so desperately wanted to spill her guts, the animated agent knew there was a case, and she needed all attention on the bad guy who had done this. Her phone buzzed, indicating someone was calling. "Garcia."

"I searched diners' matching the descriptions the witness gave, I found only one where the 911 call took place, hacked into the cameras legally, and got the unsub with the boy."

Garcia smiled since it was rare that Hotch showed any sort of approval, "Once I get the face un-pixilated, I'll run it through facial recognition."

On the screen, she saw the same little boy, someone's _baby boy_, looking straight into the camera, begging for help. Garcia cried, mascara running down her pale cheeks; that boy was probably dead.


	6. You Untrustworthy Little Lion

Finally found internet to update. Thank you for following the story, and favoriting also.

* * *

**MISTAKES**

_Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody._

_-_Mark Twain

* * *

Who the Unsub was seemed to be irrelevant to the team. Similar to Garcia's predictions, the young boy was suffocated, and left in the Unsub's basement. The Unsub went to prison with minimal fuss, but even that seemed like an injustice.

"We would've found this bastard sooner with Reid's geological profile." _Here goes the under-minded comments. _

"Morgan." Hotch sternly replied, "The dump sites were irregular, his home-town was no where near his safe zone. Let's just thank Garcia."

"I'm not blaming Reid." _You are. _"Seriously, I didn't-"

Spencer decided he'd had enough of being blamed for something that he knew was his fault, "I know."

Morgan smiled weakly and pat the younger males arm; Reid flinched, Morgan raised his eyebrows, and JJ looked at Prentiss worriedly. There were trails of bruises running up his arm, covering him from elbow to shoulder blade. Reid was prone to grab his arms too tightly in one of his many drug-induced hallucinations. At some point, however, the bruises would fade and Reid would seek out the familiar pain of black and blue. It was the only thing, besides Dilaudid, that made Reid feel alive.

"Reid, are you-" Said Agent in question wasted no time replying, "I'm Fine."

Before Morgan could question the younger male, Reid grabbed his messenger bag from the airplane seat and locked himself inside.

"What's with Reid?" Rossi finally commented on the boy's eccentric behavior. "Nightmares." Prentis replied quickly, trying to combat the elder's questioning with illogical reasoning.

JJ, however, further explained, "Tobias"

Hotch's eyes widened of their own accord, and he cursed his unawareness to Reid's problem. Without thinking, he rushed to the bathroom door and banged. The door opened, Reid cohesive and sober.

"I heard you. And I'm fine."

He wasn't high, not then, but his wrists did burn.


	7. Breaking Point

Thank you for reading guys!

College Countdown: 2 weeks.

* * *

**MISTAKES**

_Our epoch is a time of tragic collision between matter and spirit and of the downfall of the purely material world view_

-Wassily Kandinsky

* * *

As soon as the plane landed, Reid called X, his dealer, and scheduled a pick-up. What disappointed Reid, was the fact that he was too desperate to wait, and ended up contacting X in the presence of federal agents. More importantly, he contacted the man partially responsible for his downfall in front of his friends.

The phone call was short in length but voluminous, he'd made a meet-up point, he would get his drugs quite soon.

"-break." He didn't acknowledge Hotch nor did he see Morgan brazenly stare at him. "Reid?" Hotch repeated, but Reid was to busy contemplating when he would fix his incurable disposition. God what he wouldn't give for the familiar feel of needle, the familiar tug of blissful unawareness pulsating in his veins. Reid's mouth watered and he, once again, ignored Hotch's unwanted attentions. "Reid!"

The junkie-in-progress looked up startled, practically jumping out of trembling skin. "O-Oh, sorry. What were you saying?"

"I think you should take a break."

And suddenly Reid couldn't breathe. "No. I can't-I…" _This job is the only thing keeping me together please-_"I can see something is going on with you Reid. I think you need to take a break," Hotch leaned in closer to Reid, whispering, "And re-organize your priorities. Is this job worth the drugs?"

And suddenly Reid couldn't speak.

"Look, Reid, I'm your boss, yes," Hotch grabbed the young boy's shoulders, who in turn jumped away shamefully, "But I would've hoped by now that you'd realize I'm your friend."

"We all are kid." The speechless young adult gulped as his gaze lingered on Morgan just a little too long.

And suddenly, Reid's whole world caved and he realized that he'd gone too far into Alice's hole with no one to drag him out.

"We miss you."

He didn't care.


	8. Red Addiction

College Countdown: 5 days.

* * *

**MISTAKES**

_I used to advertise my loyalty and I don't believe there is a single person I loved that I didn't eventually betray._

-Albert Camus; The Fall

* * *

It's been two weeks. Two weeks and I'm already a wreck. Hotch has yet to visit me and I'm not sure I want him to find what he will. I write today in one of my most sober moments to apologize for my actions in the wake of my terminal disappearance. What I'm doing will soon lead to not doing _anything_ anymore. I suppose the idea of that should repulse me in lieu of exciting me.

The drug-use isn't what frightens me but the downfall of such euphoric pleasure. The emotional spiral down into depression. Of course, I've taken certain measures to keep such feelings repressed, my methods proved conclusive enough to warrant sobriety. Yet that is most frightening of my addiction. Instead of craving the needle, I now crave something much more hazardous and deadly. When I sleep, I dream of painless bliss; the pain of sobriety leaves from my body through shivers, and I find myself craving release instead of intake.

I've been a lot of things before-

The phone rang three times before Reid even realized it was ringing. He answered groggily, "Hello?"

"Hey kid. How is your vay-cay going?" Not impressed with Morgan's colloquialism, Reid answered curtly, "It's Fine."

"Fine? Or fine 'I found a hot little number I'm entertaining' "

Reid wasn't impressed with Morgan's attempt to defuse the tension with humor, "Fine as a person can be who's been involuntarily rendered useless by Hotch."

"Reid, it's not like that-" Reid could hear the others and assumed accurately that he was on speaker, which only angered Reid more, "You know, I'd rather be alone for the duration of my punishment being that you all **_think_** I'm a junkie depressed freak."

Reid slammed his cell phone shut and continued writing-

-but I've never been suicidal before.


	9. Where home is

College Countdown: 1 day; under 24 hours.

* * *

**MISTAKES**

_You stupid stupid son of a bitch! Well boo hoo. I am so sorry your feelings are hurt... princess! Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good? Make you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family._

-Bobby Singer; Supernatural the television show.

* * *

It's been two weeks, three days, and coming to be two hours. For the first weeks of my confinement, I was uncontrollable. I haven't seen much of an improvement to my current disposition. Although I may admit that a negative effect of such a powerful heroine is always the climb back up, withdrawal symptoms often displace many young addicts that seek drugs for the brain but sobriety for the heart. With my understanding of the world, as a constant variable, I've come to a self-proclaimed understanding. I am neither young nor am I youth in mind. I no longer possess youthful nativity. And I no longer find myself caring about the necessity of living. It was times like these that I would've called Gideon. Unfortunately, the man abandoned me when I needed him most.

_Once. Twice._

By the third ring, Reid was fashionably enraged, almost managing to answer the door in just boxers, key word being_ almost. _He buzzed in whomever the hell decided to ring him, barely thinking of consequences. When the knocking started, Reid ripped open the door, staring into the honey-nut eyes of one Agent Derek Morgan.

Reid looked like shit. He _knew _that he looked like shit and Morgan knew that he looked like shit, so Reid was grateful Morgan had the common decency to not ask the particularly annoying 'how are you' question. Reid stared into the eyes of Morgan, demanding that he be left alone without actually saying just that. When Morgan remained, Reid allowed his friend entrance.

"How's vacation?"

"Boring."

Morgan scoffed, "Drugs?"

"Legal or illegal?"

"Reid."

"Joke. I'm clean."

"Reid."

"…Never touched them."

"_Reid."_

"I'm ready." Morgan's eyebrow shot up questionably, "You look like shit."

"Call him."

"You sure you're ready?"

"I want to go home."

Morgan smiled, nodded, and called Hotch.


	10. The beginning of an End

College Countdown: Here. Posting this story in my dorm. Jeez. I feel old.

* * *

**MISTAKES**

_A friendship that can cease has never been real._

-St. Jerome

* * *

As soon as Morgan's name appeared on Hotch's phone, the elder agent knew what would be asked of him. Since he ordered Reid to take a paid vacation, Morgan had called almost every day in an attempt to change his mind. Hotch wanted Reid to return, frankly he missed the young genius, however Hotch knew that Reid was unwell.

So he answered the phone, intending to once again argue with Morgan. Instead, the voice that spoke was not Morgan's, and for the first moment in a long time, he felt genuinely guilty. "Sir."

_Sir. Sir. Sir. _Again, again, and again; Hotch's mind focused on those words, words that had never come out of Reid's mouth before, words that had ben uttered with abhorrence, vehemently spoken, amalgamated with wretched grief.

"R-Reid?" Hotchner inwardly cursed himself, knowing that the waver in his voice certainly portrayed him as culpable. He cleared his voice (silently) and asserted his alpha male dominance in a stern, but approaching, voice. "Reid."

"I'm tired." Something in Hotch broke, he wasn't sure what, "Why am I being punished for something I've recovered from?"

Hotch couldn't particularly answer that, partly because Reid's argument was correct, but partly because Reid's 'paid vacation' was due to Hotch's intuition instead of actual evidence. "Are you?"

"_Yes." _Hotch picked up on the younger's annoyance. "For the love of-What do you want me to say to convince you I'm clean?"

Again, Hotch was rendered speechless. And once again, he felt guilt swell in his stomach and travel up to his chest; throbbing with each breath he took. "Trust me, we just want to help you." Even that argument sounded pathetic to Hotch.

"And an ultimatum was supposed to do what? Force me to align my values and characteristics with precedents you've set?"

"I didn't _give _you an ultimatum." Hotch cursed inwardly again, why did he not think before he spoke. Surprisingly, a sardonic remark lacked following his hypocritical statement. Instead, the younger drew a quick breath, whispering, "You made me choose between my home and myself."

He heard scuffling next and assumed Morgan had unsuccessfully made a grab for the phone. Morgan could see what Hotch could not, the drops of salt infused tears sliding off of Reid's face. He was so _tired, _so very, very, _tired._ Tired of lying, tired of pretending to function normally, tired of failing.

He was just _tired_.

"I died. I was dead and Tobias brought me back. I see it every night; even if he's dead and I'm alive, I see it. Even if I had a particularly well case, even if I don't sleep, I see it. He's dead and I know this, but he's so much very alive, because _I see him."_

"You never told us…" Hotch was quiet, waiting for Reid to continue, and guiltily waiting for a submission of guilt, something to prove his hypothesis correct. "I'm running on empty."

"You're priorities are in order now. It helped," Reid laughed; the hollow sound crushed Hotch' soul. "Yeah, sure. As helpful as DMV workers."

Hotch sighed, it seemed Reid's barbed sarcasm had increased in its viciousness. Against his better judgment, Hotch relented. "Alright. I won't press into the matter anymore." Before Reid could interject, Hotch added another ultimatum, "BUT-"

"No."

The answer certainly didn't surprise him, "I wasn't asking." Reid didn't hesitate, "I wasn't questioning. No."

"7 o'clock tomorrow. If you attend, I'll see you Monday morning."

Reid sounded almost hysterical, eventually agreeing. "...I-I can't, I _won't_ trust you anymore, Hotch."

"I'm still your superior, Reid."

"Apologies, _Sir."_

Hotch's answer to Reid was the dial tone.


	11. Battle of the Doctors

EDIT: Someone was confused; I hope my edit made it a little more easier to understand.

* * *

**MISTAKES**

_If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings'._

-Dave Barry

* * *

"And why exactly are you here?"

If Reid were to answer truthfully, he would no doubt be cast away again for his brash sardonic responses. Just because he was miserable didn't mean he had to be punished for it. "You'll help with my nightmares."

"Is that what you think or what your boss thinks?"

Reid yawned, rolling his eyes at such obvious rudimentary cognitive manipulation. "I don't know." _Better to play naïve and unknowing._

"Men with IQ like yours can't help but know. I'll only ask one more time, do you think that these sessions will benefit you?"

"I believe that you'll only help me as far as I allow you to." A lie within a lie, as much as Reid wanted help, he doubted that this woman would give it to him. Reid was tempted to roll his eyes, _such an unproductive first sitting. "_What do you want to know?"

Instantly she responded, "What will you tell me?" _I'd love to tell you how vexing you are. _

"Honestly?" The woman looked genuinely enthused. Reid quirked his lips, "Nothing really."

"I see." She concluded that Reid was going to be stubborn the four weeks he was scheduled to come for therapy. "Let's begin with introductions then." She nodded to him, indicating that he would start this mundane exercise first. The doctor sighed, "Doctor Spencer Reid."

She smiled, her teeth flashing from the overhead light. "Doctor?"

_Infuriating. _Reid rolled his eyes quickly, "Doctor."

"That's impressive, let's talk about that." She looked down at her notes and Reid immediately scowled, gritting his teeth he answered, "I received five degrees. I've nothing to say about it."

"Well surely your family was proud."

Reid ignored her jab, "Right. Your name?"

She smiled gleefully, "Doctor Claire Harper."

"Doctor?"

"Three degrees."

Reid grunted, "Doctor Harper, then."


	12. Marry Me, Longevity

Since starting college, with homework, test, clubs, and Rugby, I've had no time to myself. Until today of course. And that was only because a family member passed. Enjoy.

* * *

**MISTAKES**

_Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven._  
-Tryon Edwards

* * *

"I'm telling you that you're seeing her every other day."

Reid sighed, of course this would happen, Hotch obviously wasn't able to handle Reid's spontaneous emotional outbursts. "Fine."

"…I know better than to ask, but I'm going to anyway. Are you okay?"

"I'm tired." _He was always tired. _Hotch nodded, "Alright. Go easy okay? We need your head in this."

He was welcomed warmly; Garcia's welcome he'd enjoyed more than the others. Out of the entire team, Garcia was probably the only member he trusted whole-heartily. Perhaps she was the key to his recovery; Reid had no qualms (other than ruining her innocent image of him) about speaking with her of things in his life.

"I missed you." _I, not we, someone is excluded. _Reid didn't ponder on the implications."I missed you too." He hugged her back fiercely, the two smiling like long-lost lovers. "Unfortunately, this reunion will have to be cut short." Hotch nodded to JJ, who in turn, scowled and distributed the case. She mouthed 'sorry' to Reid who nodded curtly in her direction. It wasn't her fault Hotch was being, for lack of a more sophisticated word, a dick.

"Alright. The victims are white male and female couples; they're strangled, resuscitated, and then stabbed excessively."

Prentis interjected, "Connections?" to which JJ replied, "None. The bodies were found in Iowa, Arkansas, South carolina, Pennsylvania, and Michigan."

"Upper Peninsula?" JJ nodded and smiled at Reid; glad the younger was behaving normally. "Hm." The locations were important, of course they were. They formed a pentagram. The next location was Kentucky. Reid said as much and Prentiss scoffed, "That doesn't make sense."

"Not to simple people."

"Reid!" Hotch reprimanded.

"Apologies, sir."

He was anything but sorry.


	13. The beginning of a war

A little filler chapter. Next chapter will (hopefully) be out by Sunday [that's when I have off from all my activities]

If you like my writing, then please, if you get the chance, follow my tumblr literaryelements for poems, short stories, and news about new stories and updates. Thank you, and if you follow, thank you a whole bunch.

* * *

**MISTAKES**

_Acceptance of one's life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices._

_-_Paul Tournier

* * *

"I'm telling you, the next murder is going to be-" Reid was interrupted for the twentieth time that day (he counted).

"We can't base our whole investigation on your intuition." Prentiss rebutted, Reid scoffed. It wasn't that he disliked Emily (okay, well he did when he first met her), she just hadn't understood that his knowledge was superior. _She still doesn't. She thinks you're weak; you're pathetic. _

Reid squeezed his arms, wincing in pain when his lanky hands grazed upon lingering bruises. The tension from being back, Hotch's hawk-eye observations, and Morgan's over-compensation left him craving for drugs he knew would destroy his career. But, _god damn_, it helped with the anxiety he was currently trying to hide.

"Hey…are you…" Garcia barely whispered, Reid didn't catch the rest of her sentence, but he had a gist of what she had tried to convey. Suddenly, Reid felt nauseous, he wanted to pull at his hair, or prick his finger, the feeling festering in his stomach burned harshly.

"No." Came the choked response. He glanced around, it seemed no one was paying attention to him.

Garcia hadn't known what to say next, so she grabbed his hand and squeezed tightly. "Okay."

Reid shut his eyes, allowing himself a few minuets to grieve (he was mourning the drugs and the pressure of a steel blade)

"Reid." Said man in question opened his eyes, "Pay attention." The younger agent chuckled at Hotch's insensitivity, Garcia opened her mouth to tell Hotch off, when Reid squeezed her hand. She shut her mouth and settled for a heated glare. Reid's eyes were open but he wasn't really looking anywhere important, they were fixated outside of the plane's window. Settled on the complete blackness of the outside world.

"We'll be there in a few minuets."

Reid nodded, "Hn."


	14. Holy Grail

Hello! Sorry for the late update! Really, I am. Updates will come more swiftly and I promise another chapter will be out tomorrow. I just keep changing the plot, because I want the best for my readers! Again, enjoy!

* * *

**MISTAKES**

_Do not brood over your past mistakes and failures as this will only fill your mind with grief, regret, and depression. Do not repeat them in the future. _

-Swami Sivananda

* * *

When the plane landed, all Reid could think about was the aching burn in his chest. He thought that returning to his job would liberate him; he didn't think that his depression would intensify. Since the murders were committed in multiple regions, a geological profile would be meaningless. Meaning, Reid was currently analyzing the pictures of each crime scene trying to uncover a link.

Eventually, he closed his eyes and willed his brain to work. Yet, even that left him frustrated. Dilaudid would surely help un-cloud his mind but ever since Hotch sent him on a paid-vacation and demanded he visit the BAU's shrink weekly-Doctor Claire Harpur-which to Reid's surprise turned into a daily thing, he hasn't even touched the drugs.

Why couldn't he see the connection?

Maybe, and this was difficult for Reid to admit, but maybe there was no connection. Surely, that's happened before, right? Or perhaps, by putting such emphasis on location he was unintentionally missing crucial details.

While Morgan and Prentiss watched Reid wearily from their respective corners, Reid was once again attempting to understand the Unsub. The level of aggression from the kills indicated that these were close-contact murders. Meaning, the Unsub had known the victims prior to their gruesome death. _But what's the connection? And how does he travel that fast? _ Reid dissented that the Unsub was traveling by plane, perhaps private jet? Reid also concluded that the Unsub found salvation through resuscitation from asphyxiation. How did the youngest BAU member divulge this information? Well, Reid figured since the bruises were light, an indication that the killer didn't want to apply too much pressure, and the victims were resuscitated, that perhaps this psychopathic individual was attempting to resurrect. Perhaps, a religious zealot?

Reid sighed and opened his eyes, which remained closed throughout his previous revelation. Outside, Michigan snow poured relentlessly onto bleak pavement.


	15. Love-sick Doctors

You know, my problem is that I write many chapters (and this goes for my other stories as well) and I end up second guessing myself, thinking that my writing is not good enough. That no one will like my story or that it wont make sense. I'm not very confident, as you can see, in my writing ability. Anyway, here's the next chapter like I prmie

* * *

**MISTAKES**

_The closest thing to being cared for is to care for someone else._

Carson McCullers; The Square Root of Wonderful

* * *

Reid knew Michigan was going to be a little too cold for his Nevada bred skin, but _god-damn, _he was freezing under his duvet. Shivering, the petit genius called Dr. Harper for reassurance. Like the weather, his emotions were in turmoil. A constant assault of what if's left him paralyzed in his hotel room. What if the locations meant something? After going through the files repeatedly, Reid could see no deep meaning in location. But still, the few murders that had occurred were placed in a similar shape as a pentagon. Yet, what fixated Reid on Kentucky was the fact that the state was dead center in the pentagon.

_It doesn't make sense. _Could it be a religious cult? The crimes couldn't be religion-based, as the victim's had varying religious beliefs. Maybe, there were different Unsubs working together? Like, a cult. So, what was so important about a pentagon? Maybe, it was a message? Before he could divulge further into his thoughts, Dr. Harper, his therapist, answered:

"Reid!" She sounded out of breath. _Odd_. "I'm glad that you called, what's wrong?"

"There has to be something wrong for me to call you?" Reid replied with mock-hurt.

"No, I suppose not. So, how is Michigan?"

"Devastatingly cold"

She giggled, aware of Reid's distaste for all things freezing. "Did your fingers freeze off yet?"

"They froze in the middle of Morgan and Prentiss interrogation of me." Reid sarcastically replied.

"When and Why?"

Reid rolled his eyes, "On the car ride back to the hotel."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Do you want to talk abo-"

"No." Reid rudely interrupted, "I'd rather just talk about you."

She sighed, "Keep it professional, Mr. Reid."

Reid chuckled sending shivers down her spine. "Call me Spencer, please."

There was silence for a while and Reid grew nervous that he over-stepped a boundary, until she left him breathless: "Call me Claire."


End file.
